Grandma

On my way picking up my daughter from the day care provider's house my mother gave me a call and let me know that grandma was not doing that well. She had fallen two weeks ago and had broke a hip. She had undergone surgery and then suffered a heart attack. My parents did not think that she was going to make it through the night.

I started to think on the way home and though I never knew it I was closer to Grandma than any of the other grandparents. Grandpa had died when I was under the age of 4 and I only have one memory of him. That of me walking up his legs and flipping over. I remember remaining at grandmas house when they were having his funeral but that is it. My Mothers mom is Nana, Although she was always my favorite I never really got to know her like my sister and cousin did. She had that English humor and dry wit. I remember drinking tea with her and having cookies with her as she smoked and talked to me about Chuck Norris, I picked up her love of humor and to find things funny when no else does, I also picked up her sarcastic undertones and her some times evil humor, like allowing Eric and I to watch horror movies then scratch at the window with a hand held rake and scaring the crap out of us. Just ask my kids some times they think that I am evil in the jokes that I play, She also taught me to appreciate poetry and literature, Kahlil Gibran was a main stay for bed time reads. Papa taught me to appreciate nature and love of animals small and large, to hike is a thing of beauty and to never be afraid to try new things. He would take me to the beaver pond and point out the cycle of life and the obscurity of evolution by explaining newts, then caught me a bunch to take home and release in the river near my house. He also taught me to garden and what needs to be planted where, How the natural berries taste better with fresh morning dew and nothing is like banana fritters in the morning. But Grandma was different, for the first time I am sitting and realizing that she truly loved us and taught us new things every day. I knew her the longest obviously and I think that I took from her my work ethic, That woman would do things the old way and their was no other way. I also remember her buying Eric and I Foxen park sodas at the grocery market and then making us put them in the milk crate to save for later, Yes I inherited a bit of the pack-rat-it-ess from her. She is a product of the depression era and would wash and save EVERYTHING!!! Sandwich bags, bows, wrapping paper, old newspapers, used candles, magazines from 15 years back, the old piano that was so out of tune it sounded like a mating cat, The old sewing machine that no longer worked, the spare bedroom that had this distinct smell that was so full every time we were to stay the night she would reorganize it so Eric and I could sleep there. I remember her teaching me about respect and showing us off to her friends, she is the one who taught me to play pinochle and to polka at family events. She would bring over platka (unblessed wafers from the convent) for Christmas and warm Kolatchi that goes with coffee while watching the great grand kids open the presents. She was at every Christmas there smiling and commenting (usually at the chagrin to mom) on presents. After Christmas dinner we would play a board game where inevitably she would end up being the butt of a joke. I remember going to Disney with Grandma and sea world in the same trip. Almost every holiday has grandma in my memory in it and it saddens me. I use to tease her and tell her I was going to convert from Catholicism to Buddhism or Rastafarian ism just to get her goat and eventually she said she would pray for my soul to not go to hell with the rest of the sinners with a smirk on her face. My cousin Kevin was Grams favorite and every one knew it, including Karen (Kevin's sister) My parents would comment about how Gram had 4 pictures of Kevin to 1 of every one else. I started harassing her about it and it turned into a joke, every visit I would run over to the pictures and count them. I want to call Karen and talk to her about Grandma and her memory's as Karen is my kindred spirit partner who is also my cousin. Karen one time told me to just listen to the things that Gram had to say and I would be amazed at what I would walk away with. From that day forward when ever I would talk to her I would take away sayings or advice that i would think about for weeks. She had been through it all.

Grandma has not been doing well for 2 years and although I had been under the assumption that she was not going to make it that long I guess I never thought that she would pass. She is 92 years old. She has been suffering from dementia for some time and just not the woman that I remember. Two summers ago I got to take my step sons and my new wife to see her and my heart almost broke, here is this women that I remember as strong and invincible, she could take on the world. She kept on calling me Jim (dads name) and asking me when I married such a pretty girl (Anna). She had a hard time piecing together sentences but still smiled watching her new grandkids play.

I came to work tonight at 11:00 at night and got a call that Grandma had died. No more Platka no more Kolatchi, I will miss Grandma more than I thought that I ever would. I love that tough cantankerous women more than I knew. I am depressed at the thought that my children will not now their grandparents as well as I knew mine. Distance is a bitch! I know that Gram is happy now and every one is with that that has passed but I still miss her the more that I think about how I took her for granted. I think that she would want me to reconnect some strained or distant relationships and to drop some relationships that are not healthy to me or my family. I miss you Grandma and yes there is hospital corners on my bed and I still do not like the fat on my steak, I will pray more and no I am not converting to Muslim, I will always remember you and I love you!!!